Maricar Reyes Says She Once Thought Of Suicide After Her Past Scandal

‘It would be both my relief and my vengeance.’
It may be well over a decade since Maricar Reyes‘ sex tape scandal, but she finally found the courage to share her story in detail in her latest self-titled book.

The former actress recently guested on Toni Gonzaga‘s YouTube channel to open up about the controversy, and she revealed that she once actually contemplated suicide.

An excerpt from Maricar’s book reads, “I thought about suicide. I fantasized how the world would feel sorry for me, for being so mean to me. Suicide would be both my relief and my vengeance.”

At the time, Maricar was just at home and would be plagued with such thoughts as the reality sank in that it seemed there was no way out of her predicament.

“‘Why now?’ Ang ganda-ganda ng life ko. So ako parang, ‘Ano ba naman ‘to?’ That’s why ‘yon nga, kaya ko naisip din yung suicide kasi parang wala na ‘kong way para gumanti.”

It was only when Maricar thought of her family that she stopped considering suicide. She credits her brother as one of her pillars at the time and also acknowledges how a mentor that singer Yeng Constantino introduced to her helped her realize that other people had bigger problems in the world.

“I felt na hindi lang pala ‘ko yung broken. Do‘n ako nahiya. First time ako nakaramdam ng hiya. There are also problems in this world, more than your own, and I think I needed that. ‘Di ba? Parang masyado ka nang naka-focus sa ka–negahan mo and you would think that your problem is the end of the world. It’s not.”