Michelle Madrigal reasons behind heartbreaking divorce
Michelle Madrigal on separation with husband: “It felt like a failure.”
Michelle Madrigal on her decision to end things with husband Troy Woolfolk: “It was a big deal for me na talagang iniwan ko yung career ko because I really wanted to have a family. And then it felt like a failure. Kasi I came from a family na hiwalay din, so I really promised myself na ayoko mangyari sa akin yun. So it really felt like a failure on my end na yung anak ko will go through this.”
PHOTO/S: @mitch_madrigal / @niceprintphoto Instagram
Hindi ginusto ni Michelle Madrigal na mauwi sa divorce ang pagpapakasal niya kay Troy Woolfolk.
“I don’t think anyone ever planned na, ‘Oh, magpapakasal ako. Tapos within a few years, mag-divorce na tayo.’
“I don’t think that’s the goal when you get into a relationship, when you marry someone,” bungad ni Michelle sa PEP Spotlight.
Si Michelle ay kilalang kontrabida sa mga Kapuso series na Kung Aagawin Mo Ang Langit, Zorro, at Adarna.
Huli siyang napanood sa Kapamilya series na Pasion de Amor.
Noong 2016, iniwan niya ang kanyang karera nang mag-aral siya ng culinary sa Texas, U.S.A.
Sa Texas nakilala ni Michelle si Troy, dating football player bago naging fitness trainer.
Ilang buwan pa lang silang magkarelasyon nang mabuntis si Michelle noong February 2017.
October 2017 nang isilang ni Michelle ang unica hija nila ni Troy na si Anika. Makalipas ang isa’t kalahating taon, noong April 2019, ikinasal naman sina Michelle at Troy.
Kung titingnan ang mga Instagram post nila noon, larawan sila ng masayang pamilya.
Pero pagsapit ng August 2021, inanunsiyo ni Michelle na nagpasya sila ni Troy na maghiwalay. Na-finalize ang kanilang divorce noong May 2022.
Sa PEP Spotlight nitong November 2022, ikinuwento ni Michelle na umabot sa puntong naging “toxic” ang marriage nila ni Troy.
Pagtatapat ni Michelle: “There were moments na I felt emotionally abused na. I just knew that it wasn’t gonna work out anymore.
“I didn’t want my daughter to grow up in a toxic home. A lot of people say, ‘You should stay for the kids.’ Yes, I see that.
“Pero both partners should be willing to work on their relationship and as individuals kasi dalawang entity kayo.
“You’re combining two different personalities, two different backgrounds. If one of you is not willing to work on that, it’s never gonna work.
“There is really no point. Talagang malaking problema yun.”
Hindi naman daw basta sumuko na lang silang mag-asawa.
“We tried to fix it din naman. Hindi naman one day, gumising ako, ayoko na.
“We went through counselling. We did not give up naman talaga,” sabi pa ni Michelle.
Pero sa counselling nilang mag-asawa, naging malinaw kay Michelle na pinasok nila ni Troy ang pag-aasawa nang hindi nila lubusang kilala ang kani-kanilang sarili.
Lahad niya, “I didn’t take time to heal myself from all traumas ko in the past, [pati] siguro past relationships.
“I didn’t know who I was and what I wanted. I think it’s a big part of my story now. I just know what I want to put up with.
“If you don’t talk about your boundaries early on, then you’re gonna have bigger problems once you’re married.”
Bilang fitness trainer, sabi pa niya, “I always preach to women to ’empower yourself.’ I always tell my daughter, ‘You have to be strong. You don’t let someone treat you a certain way.’
“And parang ipokrita naman ako if I keep saying that and I wasn’t doing it for myself. And ako ang number one role model dapat ng anak ko.”
Sa kaso naman ni Troy, tingin ni Michelle ay hindi ito handang maging padre de pamilya.
Saad niya, “Yung roles, yung expectations, iyon yung hindi namin napag-usapan.
“Sa atin, pag ikaw yung tatay, ikaw yung padre de pamilya, talagang you will take on everything, which he did, pero he wasn’t fully ready for that as well.
“Kasi, biglaan kami nagka-baby. I think malaking bagay para sa lalake, pag di ka talaga ready.
“I mean, he did it, I became a stay-at-home mom. Pero parang siguro he wasn’t fully ready na, ‘Oh my gosh! This is such a big responsibility. I’m not only taking care of one. I’m taking care of two.’
“E, pag padre de pamilya, malaki rin talagang stress yun sa lalake. I guess, in our culture, we just expect, ‘Ikaw ang tatay, you provide work.'”
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Inamin ni Michelle sa PEP Spotlight na hindi rin naman madali sa kanya ang maging stay-at-home mom noon dahil sanay siyang independent at career-oriented woman sa Pilipinas.
Pero paliwanag niya, magastos ang magpaalaga sa day-care center o kumuha ng nanny para sa noo’y baby pa na si Anika.
Tinatayang “1,300 U.S. dollars” ang bayad sa daycare at “3,000 U.S. dollars” para sa nanny ang posibleng magastos kada buwan.
Kaya pinili raw ni Michelle na magpokus sa pag-aalaga sa anak noong sila pa ni Troy.
COMPATIBILITY AND CORE VALUES
Isa pang mahalagang natutunan ni Michelle nang maghiwalay sila ni Troy ay ang kahalagahan na kilalanin nang maigi ang mapapangasawa.
Lahad niya: “When we met, I was still people pleasing, very egotistic pa ako.
“Just because when you like someone, yun na yun. Akala mo ganun. But it’s really important na compatible kayo.
“Chemistry should be there. Na you can look at the person, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m so lucky to have you.’ Importante yun. Physical attraction is the number one thing na nakikita natin.
“But, ano ba ang nakakapag-last ng any relationship? It’s really your connection and your compatibility with them.”
Dahil whirlwind romance sila, hindi raw napagtuunan ng pansin ni Michelle na hindi sila compatible ni Troy.
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“At the time, we didn’t really had enough time to get to know each other. Because within a year, we had a child already.
“So, yung focus within few years of dating, na dapat between you and the person, and then we brought a child right away, so yung focus namin sa isa’t isa nawala.
“‘Now we have a child so we have to take care of this.’ Na-put on pause yung relationship.”
Sa gitna ng kanilang pagsasama, napagtanto ni Michelle na hindi sila swak ni Troy.
“So before talaga, ang mga mistake ko—but I don’t regret them, it’s just now that I know myself—yung core values ko parang I set it aside.
“I didn’t care if the other person didn’t have any faith. My mindset then was…
“I feel like a lot of us nasa-sidetrack when you get into a relationship. ‘I like you, we’ll make it work.’ Which is yun ang nangyari sa akin.
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“Kasi sa sobrang attracted ka sa tao, if you don’t know yourself, talagang magke-cater ka lang sa kanila because you want that relationship so bad.
“Siyempre lumabas na yun [differences in core values] eventually.”
ON THE HARD PROCESS OF SEPARATION
Sa panayam ni Michelle sa PEP Spotlight, walang halong pait ang tono ng pagkukuwento niya dahil naghilom na raw ang sugat mula sa natuldukang marriage nila ni Troy.
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Pero noong kasagsagan ng hiwalayan nila noong 2021, aminado si Michelle na nahirapan talaga siya.
“At the time, I was really dependent on him kasi stay-at-home mom ako.
“Yung fear na, ‘What am I gonna do? Wala akong pera.’ This and that. Especially if someone is taking care of you for that long.
“And it took a lot for me to submit. All my life, I’ve been working for myself. I didn’t need anybody.
“It was a big deal for me to actually move and leave my career and allow someone else to take charge of my life, to really take care of me.
“Sobrang na-guilty ako. Talagang iniwan ko yung career ko sa Pilipinas noon because I really wanted to have a family.”
Diin pa ni Michelle, “And then it felt like a failure. Kasi I came from a family na hiwalay din, so I really promised myself na ayoko mangyari sa akin yun.
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“So it felt really like a failure on my end na yung anak ko will go through this.”
Hanggang sa napagdesisyunan ni Michelle na mas makabubuti sa anak na maghiwalay na lang sila ni Troy.
“I wanted her [Anika] to grow up, kahit separated na yung parents niya, two happy homes.
“If Troy and I can manage a relationship as friends, as co-parents, then better yun sa kanya [Anika] kaysa nasa bahay siya na she sees her parents always arguing.
“And then that’s when we finally ended the relationship.”
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STAYING IN ONE HOUSE AFTER SEPARATION
Hiwalay na sina Michelle at Troy noong August 2021, pero nakalipat lang ng sariling bahay si Michelle noong April 2022.
Ayon kay Michelle, hinintay muna nila ni Troy na mabenta ang conjugal home nila para sa property division nila.
“Obviously, when we separated, talagang very toxic siya. I remember every day talagang umiiyak ako.
“At some point, we still live in the same house kasi di naman agad-agad you separate.
“Seeing that person, hiwalay na kayo, magkaiba na kayo ng kuwarto… Parang movie talaga na nagkakabuwisitan na lang kayo,” natatawang balik-tanaw ni Michelle.
“Hindi ko in-expect na mangyayari sa akin yun. Because I hear it from other people, ‘Yeah, we’re separated, but we still live in the same house.’
“And then nangyari sa akin. Oh, so that’s how you deal with it.”
Ginamit daw ni Michelle ang panahon na iyon para maghilom sa tulong ng therapy at pananampalataya niya sa Diyos.
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Kinailangan daw niyang matanggap ang sitwasyon niya para maka-move on siya nang maayos.
Paliwanag pa rin niya sa PEP Spotlight: “During that phase, I was healing myself from my past traumas and my childhood whatnot.
“And then with the divorce, mas alam ko na paano i-handle sarili ko and how to regulate my emotions…
“Up to this day, nagka-clash pa rin kami. Pero for me, I always have to ask myself, ‘If you’re gonna confront this person, mare-resolve ba yung problema?’
“Siyempre magkahiwalay na kayo. Especially now, with co-parenting, it took some time for us to get there.”
Sa ngayon, maayos ang co-parenting status nina Michelle at Troy.
May sarili na ring trabaho si Michelle bilang fitness instructor, real estate agent, at bumubuo ng sariling swimsuit line business.
Kumusta si Michelle at ang bagong lalaking nagpapatibok sa puso niya ngayon? Paano sila nagkakilala? Panoorin ang buong eksklusibong panayam kay Michelle Madrigal sa PEP Spotlight.
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