Halsey looked back on the time she suffered a miscarriage right when she had to perform at one of her concerts.
In her guesting on the SHE MD Podcast, the 29-year-old singer recalled a difficult moment in her life when she lost her baby just before the start of a show. She was 20 years old at the time.
“I started miscarrying before the show, and I was in a really tough position because it was really early on in my career and there was a lot attached to the show,” Halsey said.
“There was a corporate partner, there was a greater media entity partner, but more importantly than that to me, there [were] a thousand kids who waited all day long to get into this show and see me,” she continued.
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To remedy the situation, she revealed that she “ended up just putting on an adult diaper” at the last minute.
“They’d only asked me to perform I think 45 minutes. And I didn’t really have that much music out, to be honest with you, so I don’t know that I could have played longer,” Halsey said.
After everything wrapped up and they left the stage, the music artist “threw up in the parking lot” and then “went to a hotel.”
“I was sick all night. I remember sitting in the bathtub because I just didn’t know what to do with all the blood. Forgive me for being so graphic. And then waking up at 5 or 6 in the morning to get on another airplane to go to Canada,” she recalled.
But the situation didn’t ease up for the singer as she shared that she still bled for hours and that it was tough to be on her feet.
Looking back, Halsey admitted that she had “complex feelings” about her pregnancy then.
“I remember thinking to myself, ‘I’m just 20 years old. I should be able to carry a baby.’ I didn’t want to be pregnant. I was way involved in my career,” she shared.
“I had a lot of complex feelings of relief, but also confusion, but also guilt, and also grief. And then at the same time, I had a big burning question in my mind, which is, ‘Something must be wrong with me, because of all the times in my life where I should be able to conceive and carry to term, this is the age. What’s happening?'”
The pop star welcomed a son named Ender with her former partner Alev Aydin in July 2021. Prior to this, she shared in a 2022 essay for Vogue that she suffered from miscarriage three times before turning 24, but noted, “My abortion saved my life and gave way for my son to have his.”
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